I think the past is fascinating.
I love looking back through my old planners and journals to figure out what I was doing at a given time, and how I ended up where I am now through a series of unforeseen events. The past year has been one of huge changes for me, with college graduation, moving home, having and starting multiple jobs, and experiencing changes in relationships with family and friends.
I guess life is always changing, but it seems like mine has been set on maximum change for the past twelve months.
It’s strange how some events happen totally unexpectedly and change your life forever — losing a family member, getting an unexpected job, falling in love — while others are dates you anticipate for a long time and prepare for, but they still change your life forever — like graduating from college, getting married (or so I’ve heard), etc. Knowing a change is coming on a given day doesn’t really prepare you for how different it will be once you’ve entered that new season of life.
All that to say, a year ago today was my senior recital, a date that I had anticipated for months. It was the ultimate day of reckoning in my college career, and I stressed for months about how this one little hour of my life would play out (haHA! no pun intended. but actually kind of intended).
Now that I’ve had time to recover from my pre-recital freaking out, all I really remember from the day is feeling totally loved and supported by all my friends and family who travelled from all over the country and the world to be there for the weekend. I don’t really remember how I played or what my professors said afterward.
And I’ve experienced a huge change in how I view music since recital day. It’s no longer an academic endeavor or something I have to prove to anyone. It’s not as much a part of my daily life, but when it is, I find it so much more rewarding.
The things I stressed about a year ago seem so unimportant now. The day that I dreaded and anticipated for so long turned out to be not such a big deal, and what mattered most to me on that day was being surrounded by people I love.
I had no idea how things would go down after February 4th, 2012 but I’m glad things worked out the way they did. I am so thankful to be where I am, one year later.